I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Alive.
So much puke
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
