dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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