I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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