We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Just high enough for therapy.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Pants are for mortals
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