Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
