Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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