Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
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