I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize