wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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