Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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