So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
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dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
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He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Can you rollerblade?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.