He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
