ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
God I need to hump something, right now.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
