I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
