But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
two words...techno handjob
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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