I wanna bring you to show and tell
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
