In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
