I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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