I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
