Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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