So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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