How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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