The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Randomize
