I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
