I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
