Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
