I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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