I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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