Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
