gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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