I bet he comes in French.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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