i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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