worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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