when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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