We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
