He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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