I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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