Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
