So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
