great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
