Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
