it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
