My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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