Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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