I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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