i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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