we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
