Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
