The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
