Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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