The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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