Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a squirter
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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