just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
i now understand why vodka
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize