i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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