I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
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