Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
