Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize