he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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