Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
time to smoke my breakfast
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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