yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
